"I don't know. I'm just trying to—" He shakes his head and starts over. "When you let loose on me about what a total shit you thought I was being, it made me really not wanna tell you any different. So now I'm... seeing if I can not feel like that."
"...okay," says Trouble. "I'm not sure I'm hearing that the way you mean it. Uh, thanks, I guess. But how much it helps kind of depends on what the mistake was."
"I made a mistake in - managing myself. However I was feeling and whatever I saw and however much of a heel I felt like for being prepared to give Ax unpalatable instructions it didn't make it reasonable to yell at you about it - I mean, how you're feeling about everything matters too. Whatever I saw."
"Well - it sounded like it meant that you don't think any differently than you did, you just regret telling me about it. Without there being anything about my feelings mattering in there."
"I'm still not sure what else I was supposed to think, at the time," says Bella. "But then you went and apologized, so obviously it wasn't as bad as I had been imagining."
He looks up at her again, maybe a little wary, maybe a little sad.
"Truth is, you had one thing right," he says. "I didn't notice there was anything going on with Ax when I mouthed off and bolted. But it's not that there's some big thing where I don't care. I was just too deep in my own shit to figure out there was anything to see. I got it quick enough when you told me."
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Date: 2013-09-21 10:19 pm (UTC)He is quiet for a moment.
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Date: 2013-10-13 12:47 am (UTC)"Truth is, you had one thing right," he says. "I didn't notice there was anything going on with Ax when I mouthed off and bolted. But it's not that there's some big thing where I don't care. I was just too deep in my own shit to figure out there was anything to see. I got it quick enough when you told me."
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